When things change… 29. July 2016

 A cup of coffee and a sandwich with beef ham and cucumber.

 More coffee and a strip of chocolate.

 Orange juice and I had four of these doughnuts.

 A chicken and cheese panini from a gas station.

 Terrible potato salad that I had a couple of bites of and then sent the rest to my dad.

 Ritter Sport chocolate with whole hazelnuts. Because I was upset and chocolate is comforting.

*

I went to Uulu with my mom for a day. First we stopped at Pärnu where she got her hair cut. I took a walk in town meanwhile and later had some doughnuts with mom and a family friend. I discovered far too late that all the Pokémon gym’s in Pärnu were filled with weak Pokémon only and I could have easily gone and overtaken most of them xD Sadly I had no time to actually do any of that.

The trip to Uulu was stressful unfortunately, because… long story short: there is always drama and fighting going on there and people only ever talk about negative things. There was a big irrational fight between my mom and grandmother after about only 5 minutes there 😦

Mom and I escaped to the forest where I picked some chanterelles and almost 5 litres of blueberries. When we finally got back to the house I also picked some black currants and gooseberries to take back home. Grandmother complained that they have no time to pick the berries (I’ve usually picked them every year for them for the past 6-7 years or so) and that it was a shame the berries would all go to waste this year.

It feels so sad when you can’t go to a place you dearly loved and visit the people you care about, because the stress levels and heartbreak it always causes overweighs the positive emotion by a ton. I always keep hoping that things will be different this time, but they never are and I get hurt over and over again. I would love to go there for a longer period, pick all the berries in the garden, help them make juice and jam, but I simply can’t. Not after the things they have put me through emotionally.

It felt kind of bitter when grandmother packed me some tomatoes, cucumbers, fresh potatoes and peas to take home, because she kept complaining how it was such a hard work and nobody is there to help out. The thing is, they never let you help out anyway when you actually go there to do so and… it’s a long story, a sad one about people turning bitter and not finding anything positive in the world anymore.

I hope I will not be like them when I grow old.

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