Dir en grey Tour18 Wearing Human Skin, Helsinki, The Circus

Dir en grey has been my favourite band for the major part of my life. I had only seen them live once before and that was already 13 years ago, so when they announced their new European(ish) tour, I jumped at the opportunity to see them again. Since we had a miscommunication with my husband about buying tickets in the beginning of the year, we ended up accidentally buying 4 tickets instead of 2 xD Thankfully, Josie wanted one and Kadi decided to grab the second extra ticket to join us.

My outfit for the concert.

We got to the concert venue about the time the doors were opened. There was an epic long line of people queueing to get in, but we got in pretty fast as the entrance procedure was efficient enough. I grabbed some merch from their merch table – a t-shirt for myself and a hoodie for hubby – and then waited another bit for the concert to start.

We chose to stand at the back of the venue. I really didn’t feel like struggling around in the crowd for a closer view. I saw plenty on the stage thankfully and got to enjoy the music which was the most important part. Hubby had his arms around me occasionally, so it was extra cosy and nice like that. Good music and my husband’s breath tickling the back of my neck… mmmmmm  blissssssssss!

To my surprise they didn’t only play their newest releases, but also many older songs. I do like their newer music, but I admit that it’s not as familiar to me as some of the older stuff. It was all great to be honest. I also enjoyed that every song had an illustrative visual projected on the wall behind the band. I mean, it’s great to see my favourite band play live, but I always appreciate any artistic touch that adds to the overall experience.

During one of the songs, Kyo turned his back to the crowd and started making faces at a camera near Shinya’s drums. His face was then projected on the wall behind them with some filters xD It was kind of hilarious and especially so when he started shoving fingers in his mouth and dragging lines of spit in front of the camera xD Classic Kyo! xD

Random memories from the show:

  • Toshiya being super into it all. I am used to him just kind of being there, playing his bass, but this time he was jumping and dancing around a lot. He genuinely seemed to enjoy himself.
  • Kyo looked like a tiny angry goblin xD He had contacts that made his eyes look like snake eyes… It was adorable xD And man, has his singing evolved or what? It was brilliant.
  • Die was looking pretty and the fan directed at his face made his hair fly behind him very majestically xD
  • It was kind of a waaaaaaa moment when the entire crowd sang along to “The Final.”
  • Shinya was Shinya and behind the drums, so I didn’t see him much.
  • Kaoru was a bit out from my view as well. He did still look handsome tho.
  • I got several “lolz” moments when the apple computer running the background visuals froze and popped up errors XD

Sadly, the time flew past super fast and then it was over. It felt like they just started and then they were already finishing up. I wish it had been longer xD Oh well.

I loved the concert. I am so glad I got to go.

I will leave you with a few songs  from the band. Enjoy!

This is the song people sang along with. They played a bit updated version of the song during the concert, but the lyrics were still the same. And yes, the video is supposed to be silent in the beginning.

Their latest single. I figured Rannuculus would be some weird mythical demon or something creepy, but apparently it’s a common little flower :p


The last song wasn’t played during the concert we attended, but it’s one of my most favorite ones and means a lot to me. A funny fact, this song was playing in the registration hall when I got married to Indrek :p This is how much this song means to me.

– 10. October 2018

Ol’ Nobody and Big Wee Hag

My friend Johanna held a costume party for her birthday. The theme was Favourite Book Character. My initial thoughts were all in the lines of my beloved Marvel characters like Deadpool, Spider-man or Loki (comic books are books too!), but let’s face it, I really don’t have the physique to play a superhero. Unless I play Pandapool, but no xD

So I chose Tiffany Aching from Terry Pratchett’s “The Wee Free Men,” because firstly, it felt doable, and secondly, because I really liked that book and the characters when I read it years ago. My own getup was pretty easy… or so I thought. Finding a blue dress and getting a frying pan from the cupboard were simple but finding a suitable apron in this day and age was not simple at all. Eventually the apron turned out to be the hardest part of the entire costume. The apron I finally found was not perfect, but it did the job I guess.

I thought it would be great if I had a Nac Mac Feegle accompany me to the party, so I turned an old Kinder Surprise egg Smurf toy into one 😀

This is what the Smurf looked like, before I started cutting and gluing stuff. I shamelessly stole this pic off Ebay however, as I forgot to take my own photo 😦

I named him Ol’ Nobody 😀

Isn’t he charming?


Lovely sunshine, good huntin’, nice pretty flowers, and wee burdies goin’ cheep!

I haven’t put this much effort into a costume in forever. It was super fun. So I am hoping my friends will hold more costume parties in the future, so I could put together more costumes and play dress up again 😀

[what I ate.] 23 – 29. July 2018

23. July

Smoked chicken.

Pear and spinach juice with spirulina and basil seeds.

Daim ice cream.

Baked veggies and cucumber-tomato salad with sour cream.

Chocolate frogs.

24. July

Baked veggies and cucumber-tomato salad with sour cream.

Beetroot soup and a cheese bun.

Banana-spinach smoothie.

Ate most of this nicoise salad.

Cucumber-tomato salad with sour cream and some beetroot soup.

25. July – Iron man 2

Coffee, tomato and turkey ham sandwich.

A mixed dish of pad thai and tom yum soup xD It was spicy and delicious.

An ice cream sandwich.

Dried seaweed chips.

In the evening I watched “Iron Man 2” with Kadi and Miss K. We had doughnuts and strawberry kissel as the movie themed foods this time 😛

Also, Kadi made everyone Iron Man candy jars! OMG SO CUTE!

A couple of different senbei I shared with hubby.

26. July

Strawberry kissel with whipped cream and quark + coffee.

A caramel doughnut.

A beetroot patty with cream cheese-herb cake and some cucumber salad with smoked flounder.

Berry-raw buckwheat smoothie.

Grilled cow heart and veggies.

Lung pastry.

Strawberries with whipped cream.

27. July

Potato-bell pepper frittata and some salad.

Peach-quark cake.

Chicken soup.

Banana-orange smoothie.

Minced meat-vegetable stew with sour cream.

28. July

Minced meat-vegetable stew with sour cream.

Tasty corn chips.

Tomato-turkey ham sandwiches.

Coffee and chocolates.

Chocolate ice cream and Oshee magnesium vitamin water.

Rice with tomato, wakame and soy sauce.

29. July

Coffee, cereal with milk.

Hazelnut ice cream.

Alcohol free beer and some potato chips.

Fried zucchini and mushroom salad.

TotalBiscuit… 25. May 2018

Greek yoghurt with fig jam.

Lemon-lime ice cream.

Okinawa Chinsuko cookies. Shortbread cookies with kokuto sugar. These were yummy.

Coffee and grilled sandwiches with Nutella.

A green smoothie.

Tomato soup with orzo and sour cream.

Coffee and shared treats with hubby: super fluffy kinako mochi that was delicious, fruit pound cake that was excessively sweet, so I let my hubby have it, and sweet potato cookie that was okay tasting.

I read the news that John “ToatlBiscuit” Bain died after a long battle with cancer and it shook me more than I expected it would. I listened to his podcast called Co-Optional for the past 6 or 7 years and enjoyed when he and his wife Genna snarked over different game award shows or reviewed snack boxes together etc. I don’t think I would have called myself his fan, but he was in a way part of my life for years and even though I never met him in person, I got to know him through his shows and social media. So, it hurt a lot when I learned he had died and at such a young age as well- he was only 33! I cried for a bit, reading people writing up their memories about him, ate a lot of comfort food and then went to sleep and slept most of the day, because fuck, I didn’t feel like doing anything after this. I was grieving.

Infinity War… 8. May 2018

 Oat-rice porridge with slices of chocolate orange, chia seeds and roasted sunflower seeds.

 Homemade lemonade @ Gotsu

 Hubby had some bulgogi and ssambap.

 I had kimchi stew with pork and some rice.

Also had popcorn at the movies…

 Banana bread.

We went to see “Avengers: Infinity War” in the evening with hubby and Miss K. Wheesh, that movie was a ride… I was quietly muttering “oh no no no no” to myself a lot when watching the story unfold. It was just heart-breaking how many of my favourite characters died D: I mean, some of them will most likely return, but still…

It was confusing. The movie was quite upsetting to watch, but it was also very very good… and funny! Despite the horribly heavy subject matter. I also didn’t expect to sympathize with the main villain :/ I mean I felt for him, just did not agree with his methods etc. It was weird and unexpected.

I was quite peeved however that my hope of my OTP having some screen time together again never happened… that hope disappeared very quickly, because they killed one of them off in the first 5 minutes of the film 8D

Anyway, I am so looking forward to the next one!

Isle of Dogs… 22. April 2018

 Enoki mushroom-broccolini miso soup and a grilled sandwich with ham, cheese and tomato.

 Two Nutella sandwiches.

 Garlic tomato soup with quinoa and tortellini.

In the evening we went to see “Isle of Dogs” with hubby. WOW what a masterpiece of a movie! It was so beautiful, heart-warming and humorous. I enjoyed it immensely! And to think how much work went into this movie! My respect to all the artists who worked on this 🙂

Work, clinic and friends… 4-5. May 2017

4. May

 Coffee and a kohuke. The kohuke wasn’t very good and I didn’t eat the Cherry-Spice Ampstükk, because it tasted horrible. Disappointing breakfast.

 Breakfast take 2: porridge with honey and butter

 A smoked tofu burrito @ Koloniaal

 Pelmeni in spicy chili sauce with salad

5. May

 Rice crackers with ham, cucumber and sesame seeds

 Smoothie and brownies from Blender

 Saku Antvärk honey pear cider

 Saku Antvärk lime cloudberry cider. Look at my adorable Yurio charm that Eva got me 😀

 Coffee ♥

 Laura Moon’s chili with rice and sour cream

 Cheesecake from Killuke Kooki

I had a doctor’s appointment in the morning which was super stressful. At first my doctor was late and then it was just emotionally quite hard. I was emotionally exhausted afterwards, so I went and blasted a gift card I had in Blender for and energy boost in the form of a delicious smoothie and some brownies.

Later in the evening I had Eva and Marit over for some chili and drinks. Eventually, Indrek came home as well and brought cake. I totally overate :p

The Bifrost Incident… 7. April 2017

 Rice cereal with milk

 Tomato soup with sour cream and mozzarella

 A cheesecake flavoured kohuke

 Buckwheat-cabbage stew with sour cream

 A cherry pastry and a chocolate doughnut

I spent the day listening to The Mechanisms album “The Bifrost Incident” on Spotify. I am so in love with it. It’s as if the band had opened my head up, fished around in it for ideas and then wrote this album. It’s brilliant. I had goosebumps and was jumping around the room in excitement while listening to this masterpiece. This hasn’t happened to me in a long while.

Basically, it’s like a story told in a musical form, with different voices singing as different characters. If you are into Norse mythology, steampunk, Lovecraft or all the previously mentioned, be sure to give this album a listen. You can listen or buy the album here or look it up on Spotify 🙂

Day 9 – Series/shows that you like

I don’t watch random television anymore. I have a TV, but it has no channels attached to it. We mostly use the TV as a big computer screen where we stream movies, anime or some TV series occasionally. I used to watch a lot of series and some television reality and entertainment shows, but as time goes on I tend to watch less and less. If I  watch anything regularly these days it’s probably “The Co-Optional Podcast” every week, but that’s neither a TV series nor a TV show… and most of the times I just listen to it while doing the dishes.

For some reason, I haven’t liked many of the very popular series that everyone seems to be obsessing about. I didn’t like “Breaking Bad” because of the subject matter, “Orange is the New Black,” left me feeling bored. I was super excited about “Hannibal,” but since this show got so hyped up for me on tumblr, I felt disappointed when I finally watched it. I hoped for more fucked up symbolic visons and for it to be more artistic… or something. Over-hype is bad, it can ruin potentially good things for you.

I watched only a couple of episodes of “Game of Thrones” and loved it, but for whatever reason I have no desire to sit down and watch it all. I peek at the screen when my boyfriend watches it and then I go to Wikipedia and read up on what’s happening, because I am so very interested in the story and its outcome. Just not enough to watch the show properly.

What else? I have been thinking about giving “The Walking Dead,” a try, but never actually bothered to do it. I kind of think it would have the over-hype effect for me again as it’s so huge on tumblr. I watched the first season on “Penny Dreadful” and liked it a lot. I *think* I watched the second season or at least some of it, but by then I started losing interest, so I haven’t even peeked at the third season. We also watched the first season of “Hemlock Grove” with my boyfriend and despite us binge watching it and being quite fascinated with the entire mystery, we didn’t pick up the second season. We also watched several seasons of “Elementary,” which was decent with some ups and downs, but I am not sure if we will ever continue watching it or not.

Now a thing, I watched recently and adored, is “Stranger Things.” This was to me the perfect combination of artistic creepiness with amazing characters and an interesting story-line, so I can’t wait for the second season. I also really like the BBC “Sherlock” series, but I feel less passionate about it with every new season. I will however absolutely continue watching it.

There isn’t much anything that I feel excited about or that I particularly want to see. As for other television shows or reality TV, I honestly don’t care about it anymore. Friends have tried to get me into stuff like “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” but it hasn’t worked for me at all.

Some of my all time favourite television series over the years have been “The X Files,” “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine,” “Eureka” (of which I still haven’t watched the very last episode, because I was so upset over the cancellation of the series) and “Twin Peaks.” I have actually been thinking of re-watching “The X Files” AGAIN. I think I have seen this show in its entirety about 4 or 5 times now. Last week I was also thinking that perhaps I should watch all “Stargate: SG-1,” because I never finished that show and I was quite in loved with it at some point.

Anyway, this is what I have been or haven’t been watching. I don’t think I have liked much, but I’ve been told it’s due to my current mental condition. Whether it’s true or not, I have no idea. Anyway, have a witty summary of my favorite ever television series:

If you have a favourite TV series you think I should give a try, let me know in the comments 🙂

Day 7 – Celebrity Crushes

Well this challenge basically failed, as I haven’t been able to post it daily, but that was hardly my fault *shakes fist at Photobucket.* I’ll continue through with it anyway, because I kind of like doing this.

I have been a fangirl at heart as long as I can remember. I obsessed over cartoon characters at a very young age and pretended that my favourite ones were my imaginary friends for years. After that came musicians and actors whose shows I watched religiously and whose pictures I cut out of magazines. At some point I had a huge ensemble of characters and famous people as my imaginary friends :p

Often enough the celebrity has been synonymous to me with the character they play or the stage persona they have. So, most of the time when I have a crush on the actor, it usually starts with falling in love with the character they play. I’ve never really had a favourite actor whose entire filmography I would watch just because I liked them, but I am more prone to considering to watch a movie with them in it when offered a chance I guess.

I think my first ever celebrity crush was David Duchovny (Fox Mulder in “The X Files”). After a couple of seasons of “The X Files” however I completely fell in love with Gillian Anderson (as Dana Scully) and then I was obsessed with both of them for years. I basically grew up watching that show; I cut out every picture and article I could find about these two and I even slept with a pillow that had their names written on either side along “The X Files” logo. Eventually I grew out of liking David Duchovny, but Gillian Anderson is to this day to me one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.

Johnny Depp – I don’t remember from where it started, but I was pretty young and I still quite like the guy. I think Johnny Depp comes to closest to being the one actor whose movies I watch just because he plays in them. Be it Cry-Baby, Ed Wood, Captain Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd or The Mad Hatter, I’ve loved them all. Well, except I really didn’t like the Hatter anymore in “Alice Through the Looking Glass” 😦 I was so disappointed at that.

Milla Jovovich – There is this one scene in “The Fifth Element” where her character Leeloo is restored from just a fragment and creepy old dudes next to the restoration pod comment that she is perfect. I wholeheartedly agreed (still agree). She was the epitome of a beautiful woman to me for a long time. I was envious of her small perfect breasts and actually considered a breast reduction to be as beautiful. I’ve always been a tiny breasts girl I guess. I also adored her in “Resident Evil” as Alice, because ohmygod how beautiful and kick-ass that was! I had a vhs tape of the movie and I quite literally watched it to shreds xD

Sigourney Weaver – I think I was maybe 12 when I first saw “Alien” and it was the scariest and at the same time the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I fell in love with both Ellen Ripley and with the Xenomorphs. I watched all of the Alien movies a crazy amount of times. Basically for a year or so, whenever I was home and had the TV to myself I had one of the movies running :p Ever since that I have been incredibly fond of Sigourney Weaver and I still like her and think she has aged incredibly well.

Kyo from Dir en Grey aka the man who ruined everything. Somewhere in high school our little livejournal group discovered a Japanese visual kei band named Dir en grey. I fell in love with their tiny crazy looking vocalist that sprouted crazy lyrics and screeched his heart out on the stage in a sometimes quite horrifying manner. I still love the band’s music and have a soft spot for their crazy vocalist who these days tends to look like an old Japanese mountain witch xD Why did he ruin everything? Well I don’t think I would ever even have considered learning Japanese if I hadn’t found this band. On the one hand, it was a blessing, because at the time I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life so it was good to do something, but on the other hand I was now stuck with a major that I felt very uncertain with. Do I regret learning Japanese? No, I don’t. But I have no intention to pursue a career where my major would be in any way useful.

Shibutani Subaru – Somewhere in my university time we switched from Japanese rock/metal to Japanese pop bands. To us it was a whole new world with a new kind of entertainment and personas. Shibutani Subaru is one of the members of an idol group called Kanjani8. I liked him a lot due to his powerful, sometimes wacky sounding, voice, his dark brown almond eyes and his crazy persona. Plus, he had a cute “boyfriend”/best friend too in the band, so that was adorable.

Benedict Cumberbatch – I love his deep voice and his unusual facial features are really appealing to me. Also his portrayal of Sherlock in the BBC series was super fantastic and I can’t wait to see him in “Doctor Strange.”

Robert Downey Jr. – This is my Iron Man. Like hot damn. Have you ever noticed how many different emotions his face can convey without him having to actually say anything? I think that is incredible and I’ve grown so fond of him. It’s not only his portrayal of Tony Stark of course, but also Sherlock Holmes and even the crazy part he played in “Tropic Thunder” xD

Tom Hiddleston – I think he is the main man-crush I have right now. He is just such an incredibly beautiful man and I’ve enjoyed quite a few of his acting roles a lot too. Loki in “Thor” and “The Avengers” of course is my absolute favourite, but I also loved him to bits in “Only Lovers Left Alive” and in “Crimson Peak.” Sometimes when I feel down I just go to tumblr and scroll through his pictures to cheer myself up.

Not much to say about the three last guys, because they are fairly recent developments for me and have not yet made a long-lasting impression. Or maybe they have? I guess I’ll be able to tell in 5 years or so.

This is a list of my main crushes that have stuck around. If I would have listed every famous person/character I have ever had a crush on, well, this would be a very very long post indeed. I tend to crush on so many people all of the time.