To the wilderness… 23. April 2017

 Coffee and banana muffins

 Red currant juice, boiled potatoes, roast pork and some marinated cucumber

 Shared this whole hazelnuts Ritter Sport with my boyfriend

*

We drove to Uulu, because firewood needed to be made for the winter. I mostly tagged along so I could get out of the city for a change. I left my family to do the firewood thing and took a long long walk in the nearby woods and the sea-side. In my defence, I really really really don’t like being near chainsaws, so I wouldn’t have been much help with the work anyway. I helped to make the food for the working folk later, so I guess I wasn’t completely useless.

 Lead the way

 Dad

 Grandfather and boyfriend

 Grandmother

 Sawdust

 Boils

 Men at work

 Dead leaf

 Willow catkins

 Eurasian jay

 Sticky life

 Taking flight

 Swan over the bulwark

 Grace

 Swans are beautiful

Lovely birthday… 9. April 2017

It was my birthday 😀 I am now level 31. It was also my little brother’s birthday, he turned 10.

 For breakfast, I had half a pack of these cherries in chocolate.

Then my boyfriend and I went to a Japanese restaurant called YUI for lunch. We arrived about 10 minutes before they were officially open, because we messed up and looked up the opening hours for Saturday instead of Sunday. Oops. However, the waiting staff was super nice and didn’t send us back out of the door 😀

 My lovely lunch date ♥

We ordered a lot of food! xD

 First we shared some tempura (battered and deep-fried seafood/vegetables), which I must say is the best you can get in Tallinn as far as I am concerned. There was tempura prawns, salmon and assorted veggies with matcha and curry salt.

 Then we shared these tuna-mayo maki rolls.

 Prawn creamy croquettes which were oh so creamy and tasty!

 Miso soup

I had a tonkatsu o-bentou (fried pork lunchbox meal), which had rice with more tempura, wakame salad, breaded pork cutlet and a couple of sushi bites.

 Look how happy this food made me ;D

 A taiyaki (fish shaped cake with sweet bean filling) with honey and ice cream. Never did I imagine I could one day eat taiyaki in Estonia. It’s like a dream come true.

 Boyfriend had tofu blancmange with matcha ice-cream as a dessert.

 Yui was a great. The atmosphere was lovely, the service swift and polite, and the food delicious. The tastes were so nostalgic and made me miss Japan 😦

We took a hour long walk in Kadiroru park and the seaside after lunch.

 Birdies

 A pretty swan

 Mr. Spock

Later in the evening we went bowling with my family and a bunch of my brother’s friends. This was also fun 😀

 Bowling-oni

 Having a celebratory drink

 I had a great birthday for sure 😀

March Snow

We woke up to a surprise of snow this morning. It had been getting more and more spring-like around here, leaves sprouting and spring flowers starting to bloom, so the snow covered view outdoors was very unexpected. However, in a way, it was kind of magical and beautiful. A different kind of wonderland.

The last photo is of the beautiful tulips my boyfriend brought me for our anniversary ♥ They form a beautiful colourful contrast against the white view that opens from the window.

31.03.2017

A day at work, our anniversary and another day at work… 27-29. March 2017

Oh boy, adult life is tiring. I am still getting used to working again, so I have been even more tired lately than usual, so I have either been busy doing stuff or napping and haven’t found a moment to update my blog xD I am a weak human being compared to so many people, whom I know, who get so much more done in their days without a fuss.

Anyway…

27. March – Just a regular day at work. It’s tough waking up 6:30 in the morning, but at the same time I love the morning atmosphere in the café.

 Coffee, an apple and a Sakupan Choco Monaka which was cute and yummy.

 Fried egg, some bacon, sweet potato fries and salad @ Koloniaal

 Chicken soup with sour cream, rye bread with a slice of ham

28. March – I had work in the morning and in the evening, we went out on a date to an Asian fusion restaurant with my love, because it was our 7th anniversary. Lovely times were had and great food was nommed and hopefully we will have many more amazing years together 😀 Some onigiri (with feta cheese, tuna and mayo) and a cup of coffee

 Feijoada with minced meat and rice @ Koloniaal. Feijoada is a Portugese style bean stew 🙂

 Dinner @ Tai Boh. Pictured are my coconut mojito and boyfriend’s passion fruit mocktail

 Appetizers: dim sum (shrimp flavoured) and ming kham (aka one bite wraps with shrimp, peanuts and other stuff)

 Boyfriend had a lamb rack with pistachio that was absolutely delicious.

 I had tender deer bonsu which was really yummy. I’ve never eaten deer meat before properly, so it was quite an experience. I liked the taste a lot. Also, apparently bonsu refers to the part if the deer I was eating idk.

 Dessert was “silk cake” which was divine.

 I also had a cappuccino

 Camera wars 😀

 The place had a really cool wacky atmosphere

 Moosivarga nägu 😀

 ♥♥♥

 Mandatory bathroom selfies :p

 Oppan Moomin style 😀

29. March – I was working the evening shift, so I got home maybe around 11pm xD Bf was sweet enough to come and pick me up from work, so I didn’t have to commute back home alone ♥

 Coffee and two cherry pastries

 Pasta Bolognese and complimentary bread @ Da Vinci

 Coffee and some zefir

 Feijoada with vegan wieners and rice @ Koloniaal. The vegan wieners tasted exactly like the real stuff to which I was surprised xD

Sleepy Saturday… 25. March 2017

 Corn cereal with milk

 A pear

 Coffee time with Miss K @ Café Mademoiselle

 I had a “naked” burger that was delicious.

 Miss K had a risotto with zucchini and sesame seeds. We shared a bit of each other’s food.

 Spinach pelmeni with sour cream and some salad

I think I spent most of my Saturday sleeping. I woke up late, puttered around for a bit and made my first ever attempt of baking sourdough rye bread. I think the sourdough starter hadn’t properly kicked in yet, even though I let it sit for over 24 hours. The bread didn’t raise properly and was doughy inside. It did however taste alright. Better luck next time perhaps.

Then I felt sleepy and decided to take a “short” nap, but ended up sleeping for almost 3 hours xD

In the evening, I had a mission to go get cat food from the store and conveniently also organized to meet up with Miss K for some coffee and food too. It was great 😀 However, they guy sitting next to us, reading a book and drinking wine, obviously didn’t appreciate our discussions on eating bugs and maggots and about killing chickens as he kept angrily looking up from his book and glaring at us xD

I ended up going to sleep again super early in the evening. Well, around 11 pm is early for me at least.

Things happened… 21. February – 2. March 2017

Things did indeed happen, some of them bad, some of them good and this is why the break in blogging happened too. I was either busy, not at home or I was simply too tired to blog and decided to take a nap instead. This post won’t have photos of all the things I ate during this time, because in my busy and tired state I simply forgot to snap some of the photos, so instead I will post some of the nicer photos. Plus, I’ll tell what I’ve been up to for the past two weeks and what some of the bad and good things were that happened.

On the 21st of February I had an appointment in the unemployment agency. I thought it went quite well at first, I had sent out a bunch of CVs to places and had attended two job interviews (one job I didn’t get, because the company decided to close their establishment instead and the second place I rejected, because it turned out to be partly a bar and I don’t want to work in a bar); Also, I named some new places where I was thinking of applying to next. Quite well done for a job searcher, right? I had shown that I am actively searching and working on finding a job. Well, apparently not, because after silently typing for a while, my agent said: “Next time you will see a new agent.”
Me: “Okay. Why?”
Her: “You are a difficult case, so you are assigned a specialized case worker.”
Me: “Okay?!??!?!?!?”

Now this wasn’t really such a big deal, but I think my old agent just flat out didn’t like me; I mean she never said anything good to me and always made me feel bad and demotivated instead. However, this still bothered me as I’ve been doing everything properly and… if *I* am a difficult case, then what are the people who are unemployed for years in the unemployment registry? To be honest, I felt upset and depressed over this for the next few days.

 A banana and a couple of rice cakes with mashed avocado (21.02.2017)

 A semla with almond cream filling and a cup of coffee (22.02.2017)

 Rice cake with cream cheese and salted trout; fried eggs and bacon, some avocado and cucumber-tomato salad (22.02.2017)

 Scrambled eggs with tomato and cucumber + some bacon (23.02.2017)

 Something new for me: sweet cottage cheese pelmeni with raspberry jam. I had never had sweet pelmeni before. (23.02.2017)

On the 24th of February, Friday, which was also the 99th birthday of Estonia (Yay!), we drove to Aidu quarry for a hike and car safari. I enjoyed the hike part a lot, but the car safari was a bit boring for me as I don’t really enjoy driving around in a car. Still, it was interesting to hear about the quarry’s history and learn about oil shale.

 The hike was like a small adventure

 It was a sunny winter day

 The canal crossing part was a bit scary, because the raft looked like it would sink any moment, but after the first group of people crossed safely it didn’t feel as frightening anymore

On Saturday, the 25th of February, we took the train to southern Estonia to visit family in Karula National Park. They had a bit of a house warming party happening. I helped Loviise to finish up cleaning, then took a nap and in the evening, there was a party with lots of food. The main dish of the evening was lamb meat that had been roasted underground. It was delicious!

 There is meat cooking under the bonfire underground

 Lamb leg with some roasted potatoes. It was heavenly good! The meat fell right off the bone.

On Sunday, the 26th of February, we spent most of the day getting back home to Tallinn. Travelling is super exhausting, but hey, at least it’s comfortable to read a book on the train.

 We ate some nice doughnuts in Tartu before catching the train

On the 27th of February, I went to the gym together with my boyfriend and the world, to my surprise, didn’t end and my boyfriend didn’t break up with me after seeing me being sweaty and disgusting and weak. So yeah, my boyfriend is going to the gym with me now. Go figure.

 Baked zucchini, potatoes and tomato (27.02.2017)

 Heart shaped potato chips 😀 (27.02.2017)

 Oatmeal porridge with raspberry jam and chia seeds + a couple of sandwiches with sausage and tomato (28.02.2017)

 Matcha whipped cream and red bean paste semla from Tokumaru and a cup of coffee (28.02.2017)

On the 1st of March, this Wednesday, I had a job interview at small café/bakery/grocery store. It went over the top well and I was invited in for a trial day on Friday. Yay! Take that, rude unemployment agency lady, for labelling me as a difficult case! I CAN get a job, or at least a chance for a job, with the parameters that I want.

 Fried eggs, boiled wieners, sandwich with cream cheese and tomato (01.03.2017)

 A lemon doughnut and coffee (01.03.2017)

 Lentil soup with sour cream (02.03.2017)

Wow, this feels like an actual proper blog post, despite it not having even half of the photos I usually post. Anyway, I will, hopefully, be back to daily posting again from tomorrow. Cheers!

Happy New Year

I’m a bit behind with my blogging, but what can you do when you are not at home for a while and then illness strikes, eh? New wear arrived for me and my boyfriend at home. We had a dinner of roast duck and garlic mashed potatoes and then poked our noses outside for a few minutes near midnight so we could catch some fireworks.

I took some shaky video footage of the fireworks. I kind of like how occasionally my camera’s focus went all blurry, resulting in pretty light effects.

2016 was an awful year for me. Good and wonderful things did happen a plenty, but I feel they were all tainted by what a big mess I was. I couldn’t enjoy anything properly and even feeling happy about something often ended up with a panic attack afterwards. Things got really bad in the second half of the year and I was barely functioning at all, having more bad days than good ones in a week.

However, I’ve gotten help and I can already feel the difference, so I am hopeful about 2017. I haven’t had a panic attack for almost a month now and it feels amazing. It has been incredible to feel emotions, and that includes negative emotions, without having to deal with the resulting panic attacks. For instance, the first time I got angry after starting my medication, I was stunned that I felt anger and then it passed and… no chaos followed. That was it. I felt an emotion and then it was over. This may sound stupid to many of you, but to me this was a miracle. I got angry and I didn’t have to work myself out of a bout of angry self-pitying depression for the next two to three days, because this is what happened to me every time before.

The aid keeping the panic attacks at bay is not the cure nor the final solution of course, it has not fixed my mind; it just helps me keep my emotions from overloading. I still have a lot of work to do with myself this year so I could start functioning normally again.

As for new year’s resolutions, I thought it would be pointless to promise things like: I will lose weight and will graduate from Uni etc. I’ve made so many resolutions like that and all that has happened is that I stress pointlessly about them and then they fail.

Instead I came up with the following practical resolutions:

  • I want to try and produce less garbage in my life this year. I want to try and buy less packaged things and to recycle more. I don’t want to be constantly upset about the number of garbage bags I take outside to the collection container.
  • I want to learn how to bake my own bread and how to make kimchi.

I think that sounds good enough for 2017.

Also, fun fact about the last day of 2016: I won the lottery- 17 €! xD I didn’t win anything for the entire year and on the last day I got the biggest lottery win I have ever gotten so far :p

So, tell me, how did you spend the last day of 2016? How was 2016 for you and did you make any resolutions for 2017?

Have a great year, everyone!